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September 29, 2011

Fear: Romantic Relationships

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I don’t want to be a downer on love and shit like that but, relationships scare the hell out of me. They’re gross. It’s a slobbery mess that starts off okay, turns a lil bit worse, then much more terrible, and soon ends in misery. The upside is all the kissing. 

Hey, I don’t have a problem with OTHER people’s relationships, in fact, I absolutely adore a cute couple who are head over heels for each other. It’s me that has a problem. I can’t commit unless I see a future and of course, how can you know that right away? Every once and a while a man decides that he will venture my waters. UNWISE DECISION!! He soon realizes that he is drowning in a pool of confusion and complicatedness, and afterwards I am left with a broken heart and a head wondering about the future. 

I don’t like the feeling and I try to avoid it as much as possible. Oh love. You meanie bo-beanie. 

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September 04, 2011
Fear: Fixed Geared Bikes a.k.a “The Fixe” As beautiful as this bike looks, don’t let it fool you. There is no room for error. If you are going as fast as you can and see a bush come out of nowhere, you will either: 1. swerve into another bush with MORE thorns or 2. crash into the first bush (not crashing into a bush is not an option). Every acquaintance I’ve ever had that owns a fixe have gotten into a life-threatening accident and I don’t intend on joining that club. Thank you and good night!

Fear: Fixed Geared Bikes a.k.a “The Fixe”

As beautiful as this bike looks, don’t let it fool you. There is no room for error. If you are going as fast as you can and see a bush come out of nowhere, you will either: 1. swerve into another bush with MORE thorns or 2. crash into the first bush (not crashing into a bush is not an option). Every acquaintance I’ve ever had that owns a fixe have gotten into a life-threatening accident and I don’t intend on joining that club.

Thank you and good night!

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August 29, 2011
Fear: The Ferris Wheel To the average observer, this picture should cause one of the following: excitement, ADVENTURE, romance or even a child-like wonderment. For me, I feel nothing but a gnawing sensation in my lower intestines area. This heightened sense of fright increases with every step that nears that awful death-trap: the ferris wheel. Hey, I knew what a ferris wheel was supposed to be like. Don’t say it’s all the same, because I had no idea what was to come as I waited for Disney’s California Adventure Trick-a-kid-into-getting-onto-a-ride-that-looks-like-a-ferris-wheel-but-is-actually-a-cleverly-disguised-mechanism-for-her-life….aka. FERRIS WHEEL 2.0!   Okay, pretend like that is me. Super excited to ride the tallest circle I had ever seen in my life. Glee practically oozing off of my face (I had an ugly head when I was little - I admit it). However, my first flicker of worry crossed my tiny brain when I noticed that instead of an open aired fun seat, it was more like a carriage - - with BARS ON THE WINDOWS. Undaunted, I naively thought that it was just an extra precaution if the “little” kids leaned out too far or something, I was too enraptured with my promise of a fun ride. We started to move. Instead of a smooth round and round ride, our carriage entered an intricate dance upon a steel maze-like structure. After the first zig, I found myself in a corner praying to all of the gods, sun, moon and ancesters to save me from my peril. DEATH WAS IMMINENT!   I did live to tell the tale *cough* But not past the point where it would not scar me for life. Now, if I ever pass a ferris wheel I make sure to pretend that I am much too old to enjoy a “childs” ride when, in reality, I think them quite beyond my years in intensity.

Fear: The Ferris Wheel

To the average observer, this picture should cause one of the following: excitement, ADVENTURE, romance or even a child-like wonderment. For me, I feel nothing but a gnawing sensation in my lower intestines area. This heightened sense of fright increases with every step that nears that awful death-trap: the ferris wheel.

Hey, I knew what a ferris wheel was supposed to be like. Don’t say it’s all the same, because I had no idea what was to come as I waited for Disney’s California Adventure Trick-a-kid-into-getting-onto-a-ride-that-looks-like-a-ferris-wheel-but-is-actually-a-cleverly-disguised-mechanism-for-her-life….aka. FERRIS WHEEL 2.0!

image 

Okay, pretend like that is me. Super excited to ride the tallest circle I had ever seen in my life. Glee practically oozing off of my face (I had an ugly head when I was little - I admit it). However, my first flicker of worry crossed my tiny brain when I noticed that instead of an open aired fun seat, it was more like a carriage - - with BARS ON THE WINDOWS. Undaunted, I naively thought that it was just an extra precaution if the “little” kids leaned out too far or something, I was too enraptured with my promise of a fun ride.

image

We started to move. Instead of a smooth round and round ride, our carriage entered an intricate dance upon a steel maze-like structure. After the first zig, I found myself in a corner praying to all of the gods, sun, moon and ancesters to save me from my peril. DEATH WAS IMMINENT!

image 

I did live to tell the tale *cough* But not past the point where it would not scar me for life. Now, if I ever pass a ferris wheel I make sure to pretend that I am much too old to enjoy a “childs” ride when, in reality, I think them quite beyond my years in intensity.

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August 29, 2011
Fear: Loss of Love. *ROLLS EYES* I know it’s pathetic but to this day I need to remind myself that you never loved me in order for my hope of finding my soul mate to continue. Otherwise, I’ll genuinely lose all my faith in EROS LOVE.

Fear: Loss of Love. *ROLLS EYES*

I know it’s pathetic but to this day I need to remind myself that you never loved me in order for my hope of finding my soul mate to continue. Otherwise, I’ll genuinely lose all my faith in EROS LOVE.